Note from Hint Mama: What parent hasn’t felt that there aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done. However, there is a secret to gaining a bit more time for yourself and quality time with your little one. According to Hint Mama contributor Olivia Howell, it just involves a bit of planning ahead. Olivia, the mom of a nearly 1-year-old son and a full-time middle school teacher who blogs over at The Lovely Sisters, explains in the hint below.
After hearing Brigid Schulte’s interview on NPR about her new book, Overwhelmed: Work, Love, and Play When No One Has the Time, I started thinking about how I prioritize my own time.
In Overwhelmed, Ms. Schulte, a journalist with The Washington Post, comes to the conclusion that we, as a culture, aren’t taking advantage of the “here and there” minutes we have in the day. Ms. Schulte, a busy working mother, had a sociologist track her activities in a random workweek. The sociologist found 27 hours in the week that he claimed was supposed to be Schulte’s “leisure time.”
Where was all this leisure time? The sociologist found Ms. Schulte hidden leisure time in those “in-between” minutes: waiting on a meeting, getting your car looked at, sitting in the dentist’s office. We may not think of that time as leisurely, but perhaps we’re all taking the wrong approach. How I decided to change my mindset and utilize my “in-between” time more wisely is today’s hint.
When toting my son around running errands, getting to appointments, even meeting clients, there are often ten or fifteen minutes in between activities or waiting for others when my son and I have random downtime.
Previously, as a working mom trying to juggle work, hobbies, everyday errands and quality time with my son, I had been stressed out during these times, viewing them as wasted moments. My son would get restless (assuming he was awake), I would be bored waiting, and I’d feel bad for making my son wait around with me.
However, after reading Ms. Schulte’s book, I quickly came to the conclusion that if I was going to make beneficial use of every second in my day, I needed to be prepared ahead of time to wisely use those lost in-between minutes. In other words, I had to make sure there were multiple ways for both my son and I to pass the down time.
So, I now have two sets of portable gear – one that allows me to enjoy some leisure time while my son is sleeping, and another that allows me to gain some valuable, precious time with my little one when he’s awake during those previously lost in-between minutes.
The gear that helps me enjoy some leisure time. My son often falls asleep in the car, so if we were waiting someplace in the past, I would usually get my phone out and do some work, respond to emails or play on Facebook. However, there’s only so long a battery will last, and sometimes the phone’s reception is bad, or my battery is low.
Therefore, I searched my bedside table for unread books, bought a few new magazines and invested in a new journal and some pens. I put all of this in a tote bag from Michaels, along with some Larabars, dried apricots, and nuts, and I store the bag under the passenger’s side front seat of my car (if you don’t have a car, you could store a similar bag in your stroller basket or put similar items in your diaper bag or purse).
Now, if I’m going to be sitting in the car while my baby sleeps, at least I can catch up on my reading-for-pleasure, or do some creative writing, and have a snack. As soon as I turn the car engine off, I go right to my bag and pull out a good book to indulge in. It seems like a simple idea, but by just having a book I’m excited to read in the car, I turn what would be a stressful, mundane moment into a stolen moment of leisure.
The gear that helps me gain quality time with my son. For when my son isn’t sleeping in the backseat and we have a few moments to spare, I now keep a secret stash of books and toys in the car. After letting my son sit and play with my car keys one too many times, I realized that being in the car was a perfect opportunity to learn about transportation.
I now keep a plastic bin in the trunk, and in it I put books on cars, boats and airplanes. I also added some new Pottery Barn Kids transportation toys, as well as a Melissa and Doug puzzle that teaches kids about different types of cars and trucks (if you don’t have a car, you could stash one or two similar toys and books in your stroller or diaper bag).
My son sits in his car seat, I move to the backseat, and we read books, as we point to cars and trucks out the window. He plays with the “new” toys that he is excited to see, because he doesn’t see them every day, and we work together on a puzzle, which is excellent for his brain growth. Instead of being fed up that I’m waiting on someone, or waiting for something, the in-between time is now a teachable moment, and I enjoy having the few extra quiet moments with my son.
Like the sociologist in Ms. Schulte’s book said, the leisure time in the day is actually there; we just need to learn to prepare and better use those five, ten, or fifteen minutes.
Most work days, I’m too busy to read for fun or to sit with my son and do the same puzzle twenty times. But by having these two sets of gear ready for us in the car, I now look forward to those stolen minutes, and dare I say, we even leave the house a few minutes early in order to catch some downtime. Instead of being stressed out while waiting, I now relish simply sitting and hanging out with my son or reading my book, enjoying the quiet, peaceful time.
How do you find those hidden moments in a day, and how do you turn that time into your stolen leisure time or quality time with your little one?
Olivia Howell is a new mom living with her son, Weston, and husband on Long Island. When she’s not blogging about parenthood over at The Lovely Sisters, she is teaching middle school Latin and Ancient History. She is also a quilter, paleo cook, and loves rearranging her living room on Saturday nights. Follow her on Twitter, Instagram and Pinterest.
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The walk to “school” (aka daycare) with my 22-month-old son becomes an exciting treasure hunt for doggies and trucks! How many can we find? It started months ago to get him out the door (let’s go outside and see the doggies!) but now we count them and talk about all the different sizes and colors. He still enjoys it!
Love that:)