Today’s Hint: The Standard Holiday Gift for an Urban Nanny (& $100 UrbanSitter GIVEAWAY)

I recently received this question from a reader: “I’d like to know what other moms get as holiday gifts for their nannies and how much to spend?” So I set out researching the answer.

Today’s hint is what I learned to be the standard holiday gift for nannies in cities like San Francisco, New York, Boston, Los Angeles and Chicago. And unfortunately, for those barely covering the costs of employing this type of childcare and trying to count their pennies, the most common holiday gift for nannies isn’t cheap.

According to the various childcare industry experts I spoke with, most families give their nannies a week’s pay as a holiday gift/holiday bonus, and many also tack on an additional small thoughtful actual non-monetary gift such as a $50 to $100 gift card. And note that this all is on top of whatever you might be paying a nanny for holiday week work and vacation hours.

In fact, a new survey from UrbanSitter, a site that helps connect parents with sitters, confirms this. In a November 2013 survey of 400 parents and 350 babysitters across the United States, UrbanSitter found that 58% of parents give their nanny a week’s pay holiday bonus (see the survey findings to the left and enter to win a $100 gift card to UrbanSitter at the end of this post).

“We found that, especially when it comes to nannies that have regular schedules with families, the standard gift tends to be a week’s pay along with some small gift,” says Lynn Perkins, co-founder and chief executive officer of UrbanSitter. The survey’s finding lines up with what The Emily Post Institute recommends giving an au pair or live-in nanny. “Most nannies in big cities talk to each other and one week’s pay is kind of what they expect,” Ms. Perkins says.

And the longer you employ a nanny, the higher the expected gift may be, as Sara Schaefer Munoz  pointed out on The Wall Street Journal’s “The Juggle” blog a while back. “The most common gift to give is an annual bonus in the form of money,” says the Nanny Doctor, a clinical psychologist and former nanny in the Los Angeles area who helps families with the nanny hiring process. “This bonus is generally equal to one week’s pay for nannies that have been with a family for at least one year and two weeks’ pay for nannies that have been with families longer.”

Of course, there are more frugal gift options for those who just don’t have enough cash to give a week’s pay. According to Ms. Perkins of UrbanSitter, something really thoughtful can work in such situations. An example of such a gift from The Nanny Doctor: “Give a massage gift certificate and a paid afternoon off. Again, the main goal is to acknowledge your nanny for his or her hard work.”

Renee King, a long-time nanny in Rocky Mount, N.C., who blogs at anannyperspective.com, says nannies appreciate these kinds of thoughtful gifts. Find out what the nanny “likes to do, what are her interests, and where does she like to eat,” and give her a gift tied to that, says Ms. King, who really appreciated the $350 photography session gift and $50 gift card she received as a holiday gift last year.

More important than a holiday gift, however, she says, is showing your appreciation for the nanny’s work by making him or her feel like part of the family, like an equal and not hired help. The family she works for offers to bring her home if she needs a ride, invites her to have dinner with them and includes her in special events like holiday dinners. “This all makes me feel special,” she says. “It’s those little things that mean a lot.”

Don’t have a nanny? If your child is in day care, Kimberly Palmer at U.S. News recently covered how much to give day care teachers in her helpful “Your Ultimate Holiday Tipping Guide” roundup.

How do you show your appreciation for your childcare providers during the holiday season? Share your comments, and enter to win a $100 gift card to UrbanSitter, below.

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