I find it impossible to go to a child’s birthday party without bringing a gift, even if the invitation says “no gifts please” as lots we’re receiving lately do. Perhaps this is because I come from a family of overgifters or perhaps it’s because I get too much joy out of giving (and buying) gifts.
Putting aside the question of whether it’s appropriate etiquettewise to ask for no gifts (the consensus seems to be that it’s best to give guests a choice), people who say “no gifts” really seem to mean it.
“Don’t bring anything. [Parents who ask for ‘no gifts’ are] not playing mind games with you. They just don’t want more stuff [i.e. toys] in their house,” wrote one “no gifts please” mom in a message board conversation on the topic.
But it seems that there are a couple exceptions to this rule. So if you’re an overgifter like me, here are two gifts that even those who ask for “no gifts” seem to appreciate.
1.) Cards (along with any kind of gift that can fit in the card envelope). Whether you bring a homemade card or a store bought one, it seems to be okay to put small gifts inside like stickers (an idea from a mom chatting on BabyCenter.com), hair clips (like a commenter on the Minimalist Mom blog suggests), coloring pages, gift certificates or a note saying you made a donation to a charity in the child’s honor. One parent on a moms’ message board who asked for no gifts said she thought such a gift (specifically a handmade card with a $5 ice-cream store certificate) for her child “was sweet.”
2.) Something for the parents, like a bottle of wine or champagne.
What are your go-to gifts for “no gift” parties and why?
Hi,
I think homemade card is the best gift,if some one say no gift for child’s birthday party,because as you said weather parent say no gift,children get more happiness when they get gift.
I would do a special book and use it as a card by writing a note on the inside. I can understand no toys, but you can never have too many books.
I am one of those moms! It does make it awkward when people show up with things anyways, but for the most part everything that gets brought ends up at goodwill in our house, mostly because we are a family of 5 living in less than 500 square feet, there is no room for suprifilus. I would honestly suggest talking to the parent though, sometimes it’s nice when my daughter gets new clothes as gifts (1 she loves them, and two generally she’s always just growing out of something) my personal favorite though, experience gifts, my kids can’t use more toys, they won’t get them, they could however enjoy non dated zoo tickets, museum tickets, play date with said friend tickets, etc.
Thanks for sharing, and great advice.